A relationship becomes emotionally unsafe when just one of the bullet points in the photo happens. Just one, that is all it takes. If your partner blames you for things that go wrong, makes you feel ashamed for something you did, or criticizes you for the littlest mistake or thing you do, then you run the risk of becoming emotionally unsafe. Your partner should lift you up and not tear you down.
If your partner gives you the silent treatment, that is never okay. Ignoring you should never be an option. You should be able to have a normal, decent conversation without fear and without being degraded or criticized. You have every right to your opinions and feelings without fear. If you are asking for attention, especially if you are having a bad day, your partner should be showing affection and attention.
If your partner makes promises to you they should follow through. Promises go hand and hand with honesty. Don’t promise something to someone if you do not intend to follow through with the promise. Your partner should never be dishonest with you and they should never hide things from you, and I am not referring to a Christmas or birthday present. Dishonesty is never acceptable.
Where do I even begin with manipulation and retaliation? If your partner withholds something, including money to get you to do something you don’t want to do, or if they use covert manipulation that is not okay. If your partner promises you something, money or otherwise, to get you to do something, that is not okay. If your partner retaliates because you did something they do not like, that is not okay. No form of manipulation or retaliation is okay.
You should never, ever under any circumstance should be disrespected. A normal, healthy relationship includes respect. Calling you names, criticizing you, and ignoring you are all forms of disrespect. Your partner should never call you names. It creates toxic thoughts and toxic thoughts create an unhealthy emotional relationship.
You should never be fearful of bringing up something that is bothering you or something you would like to talk about. You should be able to have a calm and caring conversation with your significant other. Your partner should not be bringing up things that happened in the past. Healthy conversations are focused on the now and the future. It is okay to talk about the past unless it makes you feel uncomfortable or it causes an argument.
Normal, healthy relationships have love, trust, understanding, honestly, and respect. You should never, ever feel fear. If you have all of the above, you will almost never feel afraid. If you have none of the above, it is time to rethink your relationship and get out. This relationship can include your significant other, a friend, or even a family member. Remember, it is ALWAYS acceptable to end a toxic relationship, no matter the relationship of the person(s) involved. You should be loved and respected.
“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”-Willie Nelson